In The Hot Woman’s Handbook: The Cake Guide to Female Sexual Pleasure, Gallagher and Kramer deconstruct age-old myths and misconceptions about women and sex by highlighting ways in which women seek and find sexual pleasure (i.e. sexual fantasies, “the hand job”, vibrators, etc). Their agenda is to give alternatives to women, not to claim that these alternatives are the only ways for women to explore their sexuality.
In chapter 1: From Birth to Babe, Gallagher and Kramer reminds us of our first “fantasies” as kids and how we began to explore our bodies. They also mention about how sex-ed classes never focus on the pleasure side of sex such as: masturbation, how sex is fun, or of orgasm but show frightening pictures of how one might get STD. I found it a little odd when they mention Melissa's story and how her mother gave her a vibrator at the age of thirteen (10). As of right now, I honestly do not find myself doing that in the future. I will teach my daughter about her body but I don't think I would give her a vibrator. Maybe I'm just more conservative when it comes to sexuality but I can't see myself doing that.
In chapter 2: Rock Your Body and Reap the Rewards, they brought attention to how obsessed our culture has become with the female body and how the media have contributed to that. Their section on “objectify yourself” was quite interesting. They said “why are we supposed to constantly observe ourselves in the mirror to get great abs or a great butt, but never supposed to observe our vaginas to get great orgasms?” (26). Overall, I like how this chapter provides some suggestions on how to go about taking charge of our own body image by giving examples such as writing to unsubscribe to our magazines. It also brought attention to how important it is for women to be aware of their menstrual cycle and their sexual health.
The last three chapters are devoted specifically to sexual fantasies and masturbation. Some of the fantasies mentioned here are very graphic and while reading, for some obvious reasons, I felt like I was watching porn. They go into details about the G-spot and even show pictures of how to perform it correctly. Their “tips, tricks, and techniques” to self-stimulation was extremely graphic. But regardless, I appreciate their acknowledgment of different women. “We all have the same basic equipment, but in the end we all come to an understanding of our own individual bodies. You are the expert.” (57).
While reading this first part of the book, I appreciate how right away, Gallagher and Kramer made sure their readers understood their objectives. This book so far reminds me of my Biology of Women textbook with pictures of the vagina and information on ovulation but just more explicit details on fantasies and masturbations. I honestly get the vibe that they care about the “real” woman and about how the media has come to objectify women. Just from this first part, I honestly don’t feel like they are trying to objectify women but offer alternative ways to explore and experience sexual stimulations.
I wonder though, if all these advices are new to most students. And if they are, how did other students feel reading chapters 3-5. Regardless, I still don’t feel like this is all that liberating and empowering to women because it seems to fall into that “raunch” culture Levy was talking about. I'm not saying that women should not embrace their sexuality, but I feel there are still too much focus on that and in a way, it takes away our attention to feel liberated and empowered through other aspects of our lives. I just wonder how long it’s going to take for us to move away from talking about objectifying our bodies and start having conversations about ways in which we can be role models and leaders in other parts of our lives.
4 comments:
I also felt at times that I was watching porn when the women described their fantasies in this book--and not feminist porn, either. While I don't think that women's (or anyone's) sexual fantasy life should be limited and that people should be free to explore whatever sexual fantasies come to their minds, Gallagher and Kramer have a knack for ignoring the patriarchal narratives at work in our culture and in our sex lives. They refute a certain old-fashioned view of sexuality, but don't really offer alternatives outside of patriarchal fantasy.
I think you make an excellent point at the end of your post. While I completely agree that the suppression of women's sexuality and sexual desire is an issue that still plagues our society, I also see the value in expressing women's empowerment through other channels of life. I think that Cake supports many aspects of Raunch culture that we had issues with in discussion, specifically the use of porn and graphic sexual imagery to stimulate women's desire. There is failure to address the negative body image and false sexual response of women in porn in great detail, and how it is geared toward men's sexual desires. However, I think Gallagher and Kramer brought up as interesting point that through the porn industry many sexual desires and functions of the female body in arousal are exposed. For instance, in the discussion of female ejaculation, I myself, as well as other women friends, have had insecurities about that issue, "Is it too much? Why does it keep coming? etc." I think this book puts a lot of those insecurities that women face surrounding their sexuality at ease. Women's sexuality is a continuum of diversified sexual desire and responses. The book expresses this aspect,with the hope that women will begin to love and embrace their sexuality and bodies.
I still haven't quite decided what to make of CAKE. While parts of it are a little nerve-racking (having women look at their vaginas in mirrors in hopes of greater appreciation for them, while in reality we might just find another part of ourselves to criticize), I think that it does acknowledge that not all women have learned about their bodies and how to stimulate themselves, and makes great attempts at teaching them this. While I had sex ed that taught me about contraception, it still left out that exploring sexuality can be pleasurable. While men aren't taught explicitly how to masturbate, they seem to have more freedom to talk about it. I feel that most of what I have learned about my sexuality and how to please myself has come from my experiences from men, as well as some exploration on my own. I think that because women lack explicit conversations about how they get off, having a book like this can be very helpful. I don't doubt that the "tips, tricks, and techniques" that CAKE offers could be enlightening. Heck, if there weren't a dozen people studying in my room last night, I probably would have tried some of them myself.
Ka Zoua, you do a nice job summarizing the text's main points. You also do a nice job pointing out both what you see as strengths and weaknesses in the text. I'd like to hear you elaborate more on whether or not this is new news and whether or not this is raunch; I'm not sure I understand what you're getting at here. I'd also like a more careful consideration of how we might perhaps be able to strive both to become sexually empowered as well as empowered in other aspects of our lives. Or is this not a question of sexual empowerment?
Anne
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